Open letter to the 2016 Presidential Candidates. ..

To the Candidates:

I'm not happy.

You read that right.  Not happy.

All of you represent the worst lineup of potential presidential hopefuls that I have ever seen.  Yet one of you has to win in November and be our representative on the world stage for the next 4-8 years.

So I have to choose from a woman with a shady past and questionable morals, a rich man with a loud mouth and no political experience and option three, from a party who hasn't pulled better than 1% of the vote in any election. Ever.

So congratulations for riding to the top of the bottom of the barrel. 

In the next few months after two pointless conventions you will try and woo me to vote for you, and promise me a better life if I color in the box next to your name at the polls in November.

Truth be told, you'll forget about me and the rest of this country about 45 seconds after you say "so help me God" and shake Chief Justice Roberts' hand.

Don't lie to me and tell me you won't because at least two of you are trying to choose the guest list at the inaugural balls you'll be attending. 

Mrs. Clinton,  I don't like you.   Being the first female presidential nominee does not impress me and neither do your qualifications.  You are just another rich woman trying to bullshit people into thinking you care about them. 

Mr. Trump, I don't like you either.  I don't care about a wall, I don't care about how you'll "make America great again" and finally your vast wealth doesn't impress me either.

Third party candidates,  this might be your year. 

You aren't off the hook though.

It's time to shelve the wacky ideas and listen to your future employer.

Yes, unlike the sheep who orgasm at your every whim I am taking the bold step of holding you to your words.  Each of you have to convince me that I'm voting for my future.

That means I'm not voting for you because you're a woman, or because you're the loudest voice in the room.

Make your presidency worth my while.

Yes, I said MY while. 

The days of the "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country" are over for this voter.  Half a century has passed since John Kennedy said that.  Time for Uncle Sam to pay the check.

If you make history in the trade off,  that's fine but it had better damned well be while you are serving the people who elect you.  I know you are expecting an obedient minion to blindly follow you, but you don't have that in this disgruntled voter.

Now impress me.  Go on...