Friday, September 23, 2011

Still bitter even though time has gone by...

A few days later, I'm still smarting from the breakup that really wasn't.  It should have turned into something else by now, what with the busy nature of my life at the moment, but it lingers in the background and comes to me when I am in a rare period of downtime like when I have time to write in the blog.

I just want to know what I did wrong and brought this to such and abrupt halt.  Whether or not knowing why would essentially solve anything remains to be seen, but an increasingly large part of me wants to know so I can fix it with her or so I won't make the same mistake with the next person. 

But the problem there is I want her.  I mean, we have a history that dates back 10 years and where most couples have to deal with the awkwardness of getting to know each other from the very beginning, she and I have already been through all that.  That's what made the preliminaries relatively easy and that to me was a blessing.  Sure, over 10 odd years we are relaitvely different people by and large it's not like we are BRAND new..  Despite that, there is enough neweness that things would be fresh and exciting, I would hope.  So it's the NOT knowing what I did wrong is what has me wracking my brain for answers.

The fact that I am a male obviously inhibits my understanding here.  I get that part.  But like I said earlier I want her.  I think we could be a great couple.  Apparently though my vote doesn't count, though.

I just don't know.

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