Father's Day: Just another Sunday.

Father's Day 2018 has come and gone.  My 16th having my son present for the celebrations.

Yes, I had time with my son, which I get every year, and he went back to his mother.  A routine I have endured for going on 16 years now.  16 out of his eighteen years.

This year, as you know, is different because his grandmother (my mom) is not here to celebrate with us, but I;m not looking to make this another lamentation on her death.  I've done enough of that this year and it's high time to focus on what lies ahead.

In short, this is about me and how I'm handling this made up, greeting care fabricated holiday.

Father's Day when I was growing up was a weird day for us here at the homestead because my dad did not like the day reserved for him.  When  my sister and I were younger he stewed quietly in disgust as we gave him our cards and gifts and he accepted them in a fatherly way.  When we got older he seemed to like it less and less, once even getting into a massive argument with my sister, mother and I and acting like a child throwing a tantrum.

So needless to say I really do not have a great example from my father as to how to act on this day.  Of course, since 2000 I haven't had a family thanks to the divorce and as a result Father's day rings hollow for me.  I have technically been a father for 21 years, and not once have I enjoyed this day for what it is, first because my daughter never made it to this world alive and secondly due to the forced fracturing of the family I attempted to start with my son's mother.

Add to that my son's developmental disorder giving him no concept of holidays, by and large Father's Day is indeed just another Sunday in June.  That sounds selfish now when I read it but to be truthful, growing up I wanted to enjoy what my parents did in holdiays with my sister and I, and due to the implosion of my marriage I have been denied that.

So today is just another Sunday to me, sad to say.