Goodbye 2017.

So, as I write this we are still in 2017, but we've made the turn and are headed down the stretch.

As it happens, in Paris at the moment I began writing this entry, it's 2018 so there's no stopping the march of time to coin a phrase.

As the new year dawns, like most people I look back and reflect on the year coming to a close, trying not to dwell too much on where I may have come up short.   For the first time in a long time,  at least five years on now, there's something positive that begins a scant two days from now.

I'm going back to work.   My jubilation about this development is detailed in another entry of course,  but from this development I can finally start moving FORWARD instead of spinning my wheels in stagnation.

That fact is both invigorating and encouraging, but at the same time terrifying.   I'll get to that in a forthcoming blog as to not clog this one up too much.

My son graduates high school this May.  A great moment in anyone's life,  to be sure but with my son things are a little different.  

The challenges of his life are greater due to his special need,  and I can only hope his mother and I have given him the tools he needs to make his way through life.

At the end of the day,  he is and always, will be the greatest and purest thing I've ever created,  and the closest thing to perfection as well.

I'm also starting to carry the burden of caring for a parent who is crossing into the "golden years" of her life.   This is my current source of concern and fear as 2017 comes to a close because as her son, shockingly I have not been briefed on how to do it.

Issues have begun with her that are affecting her mind, and there are situations that possibly lie ahead that are staggering in scope.  It's possible that my sister and I are facing end-of-life situations with mom that involve long term elder care, pre-planning and other issues. 

When my dad died in 2002, the suddenness of his demise granted us with a "cushion of chaos", so to speak,  that allowed us to absorb the shock of the event and move forward fairly quickly.

In this case,  it's not likely to be that quick,  and it's frightening to think about.

So as the new year is now five and a half hours away,  and there's about the same amount of hope and fear going along with it.  I guess it seems like it's a lot worse because of the holiday season kind of not happening like it did in previous years. 

People keep saying that things will work out and all will be well,  and I believe them,  but at the beginning things always look daunting.

I've been through worse though.

Happy New Year, everyone.