More hard truth: "We can't be together because...".

I'm back to my old habits of staying up to late, sleeping in longer than I should and getting pissed off about trivial things.

All major contributions to my already voracious, ingrained insomnia that is not allowing my brain to shut off when the rest of this hemisphere is asleep.

It's 0420, folks, as I type this.

Moments ago, in the midst of randomly checking social media as insomniacs tend to do I saw a status message from a woman whom I had a very brief "relationship" with. 

She was extolling the virtues of now being pair bonded with another guy which is not uncommon. 

Curiosity got the better of me and I took a look at where this gentleman lived and it turns out that he lives five states away to the west (California), and alarm bells went off in my head.

One of the primary reasons we didn't go any further was that I'm not driving, and I live some 30-40 miles away from her so we couldn't do the lovey dove boyfriend and girlfriend things. 

It made sense to me at the time two years ago but I'm an hour down a turnpike by car...California's a good 10-14 hours doorstep to doorstep, likely more.

It rattled me, to say the very least, not so much that she's moved on but that the excuse of time and distance applied to only me and not another guy.  As you've undoubtedly figured out from reading this blog you know I'm no stranger to breakup.

It's why this blog got started 8 years ago.

This one made the top five with this revelation, right behind the big D (divorce) in 2002 and the previously mentioned reason this blog was started, where it was decided that my dismal credit rating meant I wasn't relationship material, and finally two weeks of talking online and the phone leading up to a date that never happened.

It boggles the mind, I tells ya. 

I'm guessing I should face the fact that I'm headed to my dying day alone.  It seems inevitable now, because I can't get anything going, not that I'm in much of a position to. 

Thing is, I'm still young, not a twenty or thirty year old yoing, but young just the same.  Why is it that I have to struggle so mich to find happiness?  It makes little sense.

Hopefully this blog will be the elixir that puts me out for the night. 

Who knows?