The Blogger dashboard informs me that my last post was three months ago. So I figured that using the title of one of my favorite John Lennon songs as th title of my first post in that time. No reason, just decided to use it.
It is descriptive of my life since March 4th, 2015. There was excitement, in an EF2 tornado hitting 19 days after the post, and for the first time I was in any structure that I called home, either at the house I grew up in or other dwellings that I had lived in over the years. Indeed, I was at a hockey game...or getting ready to enter the building where a hockey game was to take place, (BOK Center), and I got an image of the wall cloud as it raced across the sky above.
So that was exciting.
And I got a job. It didn't last very long, but it was indeed work. Just 24 days shy of three years elapsed since that crooked SOB fired me from the only job I was ever good at I was hired as "office help" at a friends heating and air conditioning company.
For roughly three weeks. Then it evaporated. I hold no ill will towards my friend because for once it was nothing I did that caused my layoff from the company. Rather, it was the economy and a ridiculously cool spring which resulted in far fewer broken air conditioners at the start of the hot season than originally hoped. It was fun, I finally had money in my pocket and I finally got a new cell phone, replacing one that was a technological dinosaur in comparison.
But as quickly as it came, the job went and I was thrust back to the really sick job market that exists in Tulsa. Two interviews in a month and a half since my layoff and I have some hope in seeing employment again...somewhere. To be honest I don't know what the hell I'm going to do.
I reconnected with an old friend as well in the last couple of months. Actually, she was the first girl I ever crushed on, way back in my heady, optimistic teenage years. Three hours she and I talked over lunch on a Friday. Since leaving high school our routes took different paths...hers on a directional path internationally for both education and employment remained here, in Tulsa.
This wasn't the first time I had seen her since we left school. I saw her get married 23 years ago and again five years ago when her brother tragically took his own life. As we talked I slowly realized that of all the women I have known and loved...even vicariously through incurable shyness in my teenage years...she is one of four I have considered to be a "best" friend. The others being the woman who made me a father and the ones who had the distinction of being those I would consider giving my name to and entrusting step-parental supervision of my one and only child to.
Yeah but like so many others, she's out of my league.
Which brings me to yet another violation of my self-imposed ban on personal life gripes in this volume.
On the bright side, it does connect with the title of this entry...at least the part about spinning wheels.
If anything, 2015 to this point has been a glaring example of a bald tire spinning in soft mud.
I am currently in a frustrating friend zone in my personal life. I could explain the friend zone to those who might not know what it is, but it's late at night and I really don't want to...Google it. I will accept a degree of blame for being here...I am not exactly a great sustainer of any relationship. I guess it comes from my distrust of women in general since my divorce, which is ironic seeing the great relationship I have with my ex-wife.
More on that in another entry.
The one woman I can count as being my girlfriend really isn't. We haven't really called things off, but for all intents and purposes we aren't "together" in any sense of the word. Again, I am not blameless in this situation but what was an intense loving relationship has gone by the wayside because of conflicting work schedules and of course, money. I have seen her a couple of times since this zone thing started. We've sat and talked, but there hasn't been any real progress in hammering out the details or getting out in the open of any grievances.
Another thing that makes this worse is that I have bonded with her granddaughter. I had the privilege of seeing this little girl hours after her birth and she has imprinted on me as if I was her true grandfather. Losing her grandmother means that I would lose her, and I find the thought of that hard to take. At the end of the day there are a lot of things I need to fix in life and if anything illustrates that it's my ghost-like status to her.
So that's the last few months in my ridiculous life. Nothing remarkable really, but one thing is for certain...the wheels are indeed spinning, and I love to watch them roll.
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