The pirate looks at forty...three...

In a little under a month's time I will turn forty-three years old.

Considering the 40, 41 and 42 had me adjusting to a new way of walking...literally...I am hoping that the waters that have been gradually calming over that three year period continue to do so.  I mean, my fourth decade almost started without me.  So needless to say my usual dread that I had towards my birthday is muted somewhat. 

For the first time I am looking at my birthday with the perspective of what have a done in 43 years.  It's a question that I don't really have an answer for.  It all depends on how you look at things.  Some would say my life to this point has been a prime example of the "failure to launch" dynamic, which is proven today with my current living situation.  Then again, the perception of "success" is always in the eye of the beholder and that gives me some comfort when I am feeling down about it.

Still, I feel that ultimately there is something more out there.  I am far from what I would consider the true "middle age", a term that was never really explained to me.  You would think that since males from my generations are only expected to live 70-odd years I should be living it up because I am but 20 years away from the final horn on the scoreboard.  I am not wired that way, and despite what I should have done according to the late-60s born children as rites of passage I gotta tell you that I'm not very disappointed about not having done them.

As it is (or will be) with any luck my 43rd turn on the dance floor will pass without incident.  Hopefully.  Despite my satisfaction though, there are still things for me to conquer.  Life has begun again for me, and 43 is no time to waste it.