FUSHIGI!!!!

The late George Carlin said it best when he opined:

"If you nail two things together that have never been nailed together before some schmuck will buy it!"

Brilliant statement, and it's so descriptive of the title of this blog entry, the Fushigi ball. Yeah, I couldn't think of anything better to write about so I chose an item you can buy on an informercial.

How do you not get this? My blog, I can write about whatever the hell I want to. Deal with it. Okay, that's a little dark.

Anyway. Here it is:



When I saw the ad for this thing a few weeks back and it looked pretty neat. You work this thing with your hands and roll it around and over your fingertips and you create the illusion that the ball is floating stationary in mid-air. The technique for those in the know is called "contact juggling". I guess instead of throwing bowling pins or running chainsaws in the air fondling a mirror ball can be called juggling. Go figure.

Even still, the ad is quite mesmerising to watch, I must admit.

I don't know how many units have moved so far but I would imagine that this thing would give the Veg-o-Matic and Mr. Microphone a run for it's money. Even more disturbing is that the people who are marketing this device are getting rich. As in money hand over fist. I was at the store this evening and I saw them on the shelf sporting a price of just a shade under $20. You read that right, twenty big ones. A Jackson.

If you see that ad and you decide that you can't live without this thing you need to know one thing, and SPOILER ALERT: the ball does NOT float in mid air. It only seems that way because of the way your hands are constantly in motion around the ball. That is, of you do it right. This thing is not for the uncoordinated.

I will admit that I have been sucked in by gimmickery found in the infomercial world. I have purchased a Super-Slicer, (RIP Mike Levey of "Amazing Discoveries") and a german paste that removes all sorts of stains and comes back for more. My motivations for buying these things were pure. I wanted fresh cut french fries and at the time I worked in a sheet metal shop and wanted to get the rust stains out of my work shirts. No, really.

What they don't tell you with those things is that the slicer is mostly plastic and it can only stad up to so many potatoes being shoved across it and the stain removing paste smells like...well...ass. Put it this way, it smells like a cross between floor wax remover and cagbbage...and I'm being nice.

Just remember that like the Slap Chop;



Magic Bullet;



and this:



Remember, buyer beware. At least all of those have a practical purpose, (I think).

The Fushigi ball though, well, you can save the $20 and go to Wal Mart and get a smooth plastic (not rubber) ball and do the same thing. If you are coordinated, that is.